How To Develop Charismatic Confidence In Seconds

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If you ask the average audience member what the difference was between a good speaker and a great speaker, they'll give you a variety of answers. The great speaker had more energy, seemed buoyant, was funnier, more engaging.

Essentially, all these answers originate with self-assurance. The difference between "good" and "great" is slight and it always boils down to unshakeable, ironclad confidence.

If you're looking for awesome results, then you must start every speaking engagement, presentation, pitch, job interview, fundraising opportunity, etc. emotionally full and lit up with inner-certainty/sureness/faith in yourself.

Confidence is like putting gasoline in your car. You need it if you're trying to get somewhere.

Fueling the Fire

In private coaching, I help my executive clients find the "hook" of their presentation, start of their job interview, pitch meeting, etc. A hook is a deeply emotional attitude/opinion you adopt and cultivate within your body and then own verbally, propelling you to the successful completion of whatever you're about to do.

The hook is designed to spark a rocket blast of confidence within seconds. There is never a one-size-fits-all approach to finding it--it's born out of your singular passion and raw emotion for the task at hand and your desire for maximum impact on your audience.

The magic of the hook lies in the fact that your words shape your reality, seeping into your belief system so you can't help but embody and own what you say.

The best hooks are under five words, and will feel like you've started a small fire when you say them out loud. This way, when you're in that interview office, pitch meeting, conference room, or auditorium stage, you feel like there's a tiny inferno snapping and popping behind each word.

A hook helps to launch your own sense of organic confidence. Rather than cultivating a forced energy, a forced look-at-me, a forced sense of please-find-me-interesting, a hook lights the flames of internal power, in a way that is fun for you.

Zero Effort Confidence

Once the pilot light of self-assurance has been lit, it tends to stay on by itself without any effort or energy on your part. The reason for this is that confidence, like other powerful emotional attitudes, is self-sustaining--much like once you start the car, you don't need to do more than keep your foot on the gas to keep it moving forward.

If you find yourself in the waiting room of a job interview or driving to a pitch meeting, or in the wings backstage, expecting to make your presentation, invoke your hook and empower the flames of inner-certainty to start flickering.

If any negative or anxious thoughts attempt to creep in, simply ignore them and let your hook burn through the fog of those nerves.

It's crucial to begin emotionally lit with confidence, as how you start something is usually a good indicator as to how it will end.

Sure, you'll hear people say, I started kinda nervous but then I felt better as I kept going. Those are the types of people who are content with mediocre results.

For people who demand excellence and who know that success often follows successful results, priming the pump with your hook and starting with unwavering confidence is the only way.

This article was originally published on Inc.

Why Your Best Work May Feel Too Easy To Be Good

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"Do you know how to tell if you're doing the job?

If you're up at 3am every night talking into a tape recorder and writing notes on scraps of paper, have a knot in your stomach and a rash on your skin, are losing sleep and losing touch with your wife and kids, have no appetite or sense of humor and feel that everything might turn out wrong, then you're probably doing the job."

This is an actual quote from a slide used by Keith Rabois, entrepreneur/investor mastermind, during his talk at Stanford.

This quote sums up so much of the culture in Silicon Valley and throughout so much of corporate America: if you want to do excellent, transcendent work, you have to suffer for this endeavor, and suffer immeasurably and consistently.

I'm all for hard work, but the problem with this absolutist mentality is that it puts limitations on human ability and human inspiration.

Some of the world's greatest masterpieces of art, business, and ideas were imagined in a matter of days, hours, or minutes. Not years.

Sure, many of these professionals were masters of their craft and had dedicated themselves to their fields, but the notion that a tremendous idea or product has to be the result of suffering and struggle is very misleading.

Here are five change effecting things born from peace, passion, and a desire to have great impact.

1. Larry Page dreamed of being able to download and deposit parts of the Internet on separate computers. Upon waking, Page saw that while this wasn't possible, one could gather and collate links to webpages around the world and search through them. Sound familiar? This idea eventually developed into Google.

2. JK Rowling came up with the idea for the Harry Potter series while sitting on a delayed train from Manchester to London King Cross.

3. Bob Dylan famously claimed that he wrote his timeless protest song, "Blowin' in the Wind," in ten minutes, as he sat in a café across from the Gaslight in New York.

4. Sarah Kauss, the founder of S'well, came up with the idea of an upscale, eco-friendly, fashionable water bottle while on a hike with her mother.

5. Christopher Nolan was inspired to write Inception based on a series of lucid dreams he had where he was manipulating his dreamscape and differentiating it from reality.

Accepting the notion that great work, real innovation, world-changing ideas have to occur as the result of pain, suffering and sleepless nights, just isn't true.

Often the most inspiring ideas occur when we are calm and open to receiving inspiration.

The fact that two of the items on the list came to the innovator when they were unconscious and dreaming, should be significant enough to derail the notion of sleepless nights as a recipe for brilliance.

For brilliant people working in today's climate, there can be toxic expectations that great undertakings have to be difficult.

Just because a foray doesn't make you feel like Sisyphus rolling a boulder up the mountain, doesn't mean that it's not a world-class idea or project.

This article was originally published on Inc.

Why The Happiest People In The World Love Saying ‘No’

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There's a pressure on professionals who are at the top of their game to take advantage of every opportunity presented.

However, just as you wouldn't go out on a date with every single person that asked you, you should exhibit a certain level of particularity when it comes to where you commit your time.

A good rule of thumb is whether the opportunity causes more damage than potential good: if it could hurt your brand or your soul, don't accept it.

Most readers will be able to spot such instances a mile away. However, the trickier moments in life are when to say no when it seems like you should maybe say yes.

Below are some occasions when you owe it to yourself to say no:

The "Perfect" Opportunity.

According to Dan Schulman, after Obama lost the race for Congress in 2000, he interviewed for a job running the prestigious and progressive Joyce Foundation in Chicago. It would have paid mid-six figures and included other perks such as a country club membership.

Many people would have viewed this opportunity as a buoy in a turbulent ocean after Obama's public failure. But Obama knew in his gut that he was not done with politics and that's why Obama admitted to "doing a bad job on the interview."

If an opportunity is dropped in your lap but it doesn't mesh with your core instincts, you owe it to yourself to say no.

Your Time is Always Finite.

Your commitment to excellence requires that you say no as there are a finite number of hours in the day and always will be.

Time does not allow you to say yes to everyone: sure, you want to serve on the board of that worthy non-profit, or mentor that very deserving underprivileged kid, but if you want to continue all the numerous other tasks you are committed to with the excellence that you have connected to your brand and your name, you must say no.

It doesn't make you a bad person. It makes you a master strategist.

Silence is Golden.

Do you remember the period before you were successful? Maybe this was when you were a student or a struggling entrepreneur, or working a job you hated.

This was a time in your life when you weren't inundated with invitations to dinners, talks, cocktail parties, screenings, or panels.

While all such events are (sometimes) incredibly worthy and can often enrich your career and your network, you can't and shouldn't attend all of them.

Back when you were at the start of your career and had a much smaller social network and fewer events to go to, you also had more silence. You had more time alone with yourself to think about your ideas and to tinker with your own creativity, innovation, and imagination.

This is my theory as to why the second album a band puts out often is subpar. The first album was made after much reflection and effort. When the first album and the band takes off in a whirlwind, it often doesn't give the band the time and space it needs to recreate that magic in the second album.

You have to say no occasionally in order to honor times when you can just be alone and silent with yourself and your ideas.

Saying no comes from a place of strength and wisdom. It indicates that you know yourself, that your goals are crystal clear, and that you have the courage to assert boundaries.

Sometimes saying no to a brilliant opportunity, a fun social event, or a worthy mentee means you're shouting an even bigger yes to yourself, your goals, and your future.

This article was originally published on Inc.

The Scientifically Proven Way To Become A Visionary (It's So Easy You Will Laugh)

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Unfortunately, most people abide by the archaic concept that there is one singular path to achieving success and recognition in life, or that mega success is a result of pure luck.

This idea should be torched immediately, as it only serves to box you in and stifle the expression of your originality.

In addition to my work helping entrepreneurs and world leaders develop impactful charismatic confidence, I help Hollywood's top celebrities and performing artists (actors, musicians, comedians) to launch their careers and reach Oscar potential in film and TV. I also coach presenters for all the major award ceremonies, including the Oscars, Emmys, and Grammys.

I help these clients use their personalities to leave an unforgettable mark on everything they do, by discovering and distilling the exclusive, and beautifully singular, combination of behaviors and attitudes that make them an original.

Your one-of-a-kind personality is your secret weapon for huge, lasting success.

Shel Silverstein's poem from "Every Thing On It" is the best example of this:

"Underneath my outside face
There's a face that none can see.
A little less smiley,
A little less sure,
But a whole lot more like me."

Everytime I read this poem I take a long and deep breath, as I'm reminded that I'm interesting and powerful enough in the world as myself, without having to add or alter anything. It also gives me permission to not give a shit what other people think.

My longtime client, actor and musician Zooey Deschanel, has immortalized the role of "Jess Day" on the hit TV show "New Girl" as the nerdy, charmingly clueless, unusual roommate with big blue eyes and sexy hair.

Zooey is an oddball in real life--and she chooses to hide none of it in her acting.

She doesn't choose between being wacky or seductive. Instead she unabashedly blends them both into Jess, appealing to a broad audience, leaving an indelible mark, and achieving impossible staying power in an otherwise unpredictable and brutally competitive business.

Other individualist, outrageous, and daringly different performing artists like Lady Gaga, Jared Leto, Laura Dern, John Malkovich, and Javier Bardem all figured that out: They took everything different and odd about themselves, and turned it into an irreplicable, "WOW that's different!" selling point. A total game changer.

You can be certain that many of these celebrities would have never achieved success if they had spent their time trying to shove their uniqueness into a box of some preconceived "type" we've all seen hundreds of times before.

Success for an artist isn't going to happen if they try to imitate others. And the same is true for all endeavours in business.

Achieving meaningful lasting success in any career is directly related to your ability to manifest and fearlessly radiate your irreplicable personality, without giving a crap what anyone thinks of you.

Reject the herd mentality of cramming your individual style and personality into the narrow confines of what you think other people want. Instead, assume YOU are who they want, and bring yourself to everything that you do.

When you give yourself permission to let your disarming, weird, or ugly qualities shine through every chance you get, you imprint your work and presence with something that no one has ever seen before.

Become the visionary you aspire to be by fearlessly living every moment as yourself.

This article was originally published on Inc.

What Happens Behind The Scenes At the Oscars Will Blow Your Mind

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In addition to helping entrepreneurs develop charismatic confidence to grow their businesses faster, I also help Hollywood celebrities and other entertainment industry leaders launch their careers, reach Oscar winning performances, and present at all the major award shows.

Most intelligent people assume backstage at the Oscars is rather hectic. Little do they know, behind the scenes of this elegant show feels like a SWAT team has infiltrated the Olympic Games with the cast of Dance Moms wandering around.

This militant chaos creates an even heightened sense of pressure for those presenting to a packed house of 3,400, as the show streams to an audience of around 65 million.

Pressure is a natural component in the lives of highly successful people, but even for my most successful celebrity clients, presenting at the Oscars is a level of pressure that is just unnatural.

With a live show, and only one chance to get their performance right, presenters know that any mistake could mean lasting public humiliation, hotly discussed in the blogosphere and transformed into memes or gifs, all living eternally on the Internet.

There are times when the pressure and stakes are so high; any slip may cause career repercussions for years to come.

Unnatural pressure offers you a rare opportunity to thrive in a way you've never experienced. It's more than just big risk, big reward--this type of tension is like injecting yourself with an intergalactic shot of platinum B-12: your body is either going to absorb it and transform, or you're going to feel sick.

Whether you're meeting with a panel of angel investors, speaking before an angry board or thousands of disappointed investors, here are some guidelines to load the dice in your favor.

Cover Your Basics

Know what you're going to say: be memorized but don't sound memorized. Rigid memorization makes you appear amateur and lacking in confidence. Each sentence should naturally follow the next one as if naturally occurring to you in the moment.

If you need a life-preserver, bring note cards or use the teleprompter (only if you've had teleprompter training and can do it with ease). Some of my clients just write a bullet-point list of words on their hand to remind them of their talking points.

Bring Your Personality to Your Words

The key to not sounding overly-rehearsed is the ability to bring your unique self to your words. It should feel like you.

Pinpoint your hook and let it launch you into the moment, allowing your personality to shine through. A hook is what I help my clients distill to crush any presentation with remarkable ease and fun. It's a feeling, word, or body attitude that is specific to you, and instantly lights you up emotionally --it prevents you from looking over-rehearsed and lets your authentic self shine through.

It's a Privilege to Be This Uncomfortable

The fact that you're under this much pressure means that you've accomplished a lot that many haven't. Sure you've worked hard, but you've also received breaks from lady luck and opportunities others have not.

Resist the urge to show any resentment of the pressure, through eyebrow movements or eye rolls or sarcastic remarks. It can make you look weak, petty or condescending.

Practice Fielding Your Worst Question

Many of my clients have to give presentations that broadcast globally and then field intensive Q&A sessions where a live audience grills them. Figure out your nightmare question(s) that you pray no one asks and fine-tune a solid answer to it.

Having a plan for a worst-case scenario will give a tremendous amount of confidence.

Be Ready for Anything

When people in the audience see you this vulnerable, someone might try and take a swing at you. Most professionals are content to ignore these interruptions, but that's actually a 50-50 strategy. Sometimes it makes you look professional; sometimes it makes you look like you're just dodging conflict.

Have a few responses ready for these situations and then decide what to do in the moment, by reading the room.

Your preparation has a tremendous impact on how much you will flourish under this unnatural pressure.

The better prepared you are, the more you will be able to confront these high stakes with confidence, hitting even the most curved pitches with an effortless and smooth swing.

This article was originally posted on Inc.

The #1 Scientifically Proven Method To Getting Everything You Want

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For years I’ve helped both my entertainment and executive clients develop the ability to walk into any scenario, instantly light up with unshakable charismatic confidence, and guarantee one of these three winning results:

1. Getting your intended result. They loved you and you won the job, got the promotion, got funded, etc.

2. Winning the room. They loved you, and your performance or presentation blew their minds, but you’re just not the right fit for reasons beyond your control. Be assured that they will be bringing you back in for another—perhaps greater—opportunity in the future.

3. Getting Called Back. This is a subset of winning the room. Your prospects will bring you back for a second round interview, another chance to pitch incorporating any previous notes, a meeting with the CEO, or to compete for another position within the company.

If you’re not getting one of the above results every time you walk into a room where an opportunity exists, you may unintentionally be projecting some form of desperation.

Desperation is perhaps the single biggest turn off in business. It’s the antithesis to confidence; it raises suspicions about your motives; no one wants to work with it.

Here are three simple time-tested ways to instantly burn through the fog of desperation whenever you’re selling something.

Get over yourself
Getting over yourself is the ability to take the “I” out of the picture. It starts by owning the attitude, “It ain’t about me; it’s about the opportunity I’m describing.”

Releasing yourself from personal responsibility can be amazingly liberating. It makes you free to focus on the great product or service that you’re offering, and pitching to the wants and needs of your prospects...all of this free from the fear of personal rejection.

Don’t get attached to the outcome
Not being consumed by the desired outcome of any scenario eliminates self-consciousness. You will rarely be disappointed if you stop getting attached to an idea of “how it should go.”

When you let go of your expectations about how a specific scenario is going to play out, you instantly free yourself from its outcome. This liberating freedom lays the groundwork for you to radiate infectious charismatic confidence that will consistently trigger an enthusiastic “WOW!” from your prospects.

Getting “wrapped up” in the potential success or failure of any endeavor is when desperation will often shut you down within seconds.

Get lit up!
I help my clients figure out what is truly fun and exciting to THEM about what they’re selling or presenting—what lights them up. I help to get these energized emotions moving within their bodies, and within seconds they begin to spark an infectious passion and confidence so compelling that prospects have a very hard time saying “no.”

Best of all, this awesome ability can be activated and deployed within seconds, whenever you need it.

This article was originally published on Inc.

How To Be Unforgettable The Second You Say Hello

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There are some people who can walk into any room, say one word, and instantly be unforgettable. 

I can probably count those people on one hand as they’re the few wonderful men and women who had a profound impact on my life over the years.

Some have a natural knack for leaving a mark, while others hone, develop, and magnify this awesome human ability. 

We can all recall those who have entered the room, and in that first moment, carved an indelible mark on us. I believe “love at first sight” is this phenomenon in action.

The benefits of being able to stand out the moment you walk into any room are insanely cool: commanding the respect of your peers, being seen as CEO material, landing the job, getting that promotion or raise, successfully pitching your startup idea, getting funded, being heard in a meeting, meeting the love of your life, etc.

Being unforgettable the second you say “Hello” is the result of the magnification of four untapped human superpowers. When properly harnessed and deployed, these capabilities give you the ability to walk into any room, have immediate impact, and be instantly memorable.

Here they are:

1. Supreme body confidence

The ability to adopt a mind and body attitude of sheer grit and determination within seconds, whenever you need. 

This is a truly powerful ability because it can burn through the fog of any nerves and anxiety you may feel when faced with a daunting public speaking task, or other life or career changing opportunity where you must be at your best, or risk failure.

This is one of my favorite things to do with my executive clients—helping them activate charismatic confidence, in a flash, for maximum impact on their audiences.

2. Being fully yourself

The ability to do YOU all the time—to show people your heart, without being afraid to look like an asshole or a freak is a badass skill. 

Dare yourself to publicly be the person you are in private: the way you talk, behave, laugh, etc. 

It may feel that by being less smiley you’re going to come across as boring and uninteresting but you won’t. Try it for one day—it’s fun! See the way people positively respond, and are attracted to your authentic (and true) self. 

3. Ignite with fun

The ability to lite yourself up with an empowered, cathartic, and alive sense of fun. 

This is some serious and perhaps dangerous fun. It’s not to be confused with mundane everyday unengaged play. It’s the kind of fun you feel when you climb Everest for the first time, or the feeling of that marvelous gut punch you get when meeting the love of your life, and every other time you see them thereafter. It’s the kind of fun that takes your breath away.

4. Not being desperate

The ability to not reek of desperation.

There are risks to being fully yourself and not caring what people think: rejection, failure, public condemnation, among many others.

With regards to doing this work, the fear of failure is the only limiting factor that separates the doers from the dreamers. If you can find a way discard your fear, and walk out onto the thin ice of possible rejection, you can live the life that you’re meant for—one of unimaginable happiness and mega success beyond your wildest dreams.

Show Them Your Heart

Fearlessly show people your heart. How? By being yourself—the person you are in private, when you know that no one is looking. By sharing this inside face—the one that may feel less safe—you will instantly reflect more humanity when you speak. 

Think of the people who really shake the room when they enter. What do they do? They effect change and have immediate and sudden impact.

Think of fear as perhaps your most powerful resource and be willing and ready to convert it into your greatest asset: confidence.

What is confidence other than your belief in your own capability?

When it comes to your confidence in a particular field, this isn't something you can master overnight. I help my clients develop genuine impactful attractive confidence within seconds to effect maximum change in their audiences.

If you've ever had the pleasure of speaking with a truly remarkable CEO or world leader--one who has made an almost mythological reputation for themselves of visionary thinking and calculated risk taking--you'll see they radiate this unshakable belief in themselves.

Confidence starts in your body and soon triggers mental and emotional confidence (EXPAND WITH INFO ABOUT YOUR PROCESS…..)

When the goal is to consistently stand out from your competition, this is of utmost importance.

The truth is that many of us aren't born with the indelible charisma and conviction of Branson, Jobs, or Wintour.

Think of the people who really shake the room when they enter. What do they do? They effect change.

The good news is that you have everything it takes to be interesting and change effecting.

Many people feel they aren't interesting enough to be leaders, so they hide behind what they think they should be.

With the right laser-guided preparation deployed consistently and fearlessly, you can leave a lasting impression when it matters.

This article was originally published on Inc

 

 

Want To Lead Like Elon Musk? Why Celebrity Level Acting Training Is Your Secret Weapon

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"To me, business isn't about wearing suits or pleasing stockholders. It's about being true to yourself, your ideas and focusing on the essentials." —Richard Branson

Some of the world’s most successful and influential entrepreneurs have infectious personalities that perfectly reflect their brands and their life’s work. 

It can seems as though the Elon Musks and the Richard Bransons of the world have a bottomless supply of eerily profound remarks, which only further assert their ability to achieve, impact, and innovate.

Many people dismiss these great entrepreneurs as being rarer and more unique than the average person—almost superhuman—and therefore, they can’t help but effortlessly light up a room. 

That’s only partially true. 

Yes, these people are different. They’ve been able to locate, develop, and release their inner greatness. 

Releasing this inner greatness has empowered them to both envision real innovation and to have confidence in their ideas. 

You too have inner greatness that you can locate, develop, and release. It will enable you to fine-tune the voice of your brand, amplify your confidence and lead like your own version of Tony Robbins or Sheryl Sandberg. 

Sure, you can read all the inspirational biographies and self help books you like, but one of the most surefire and unexpected ways to hone in on, and radiate, this inner greatness is via top tier acting training. 

This level of performance training forces you to get out of your own way and dig deep. This is because superior acting training coaxes you so far out of your comfort zone.

You have to declare love to someone, beg someone not to leave you, insult someone, threaten people, seduce people, demean people and nurture them—all using the most authentic parts of yourself. It’s essentially everyday life with all the boring parts removed.

In my work with both Hollywood celebrities and top executives, I use powerful tools to help my clients develop charismatic confidence within seconds, to instantly light up with their inner greatness.

One of the game-changing tools I use is a core set of checkpoints, specifically designed to help my clients know when they’re delivering the best possible performance, and impacting their audience. Here they are:

1. Don't guess what “they” are looking for.
Assume YOU are who “they” are looking for, and bring yourself to your work.

2. Are you having fun?

If it’s not fun—cathartic, empowered, invigorated fun—you can be one hundred percent sure you’re not operating at your highest success potential. This kind of fun can be intense; like you just climbed Everest and feel you might die, but every pore in your body is screaming “I’m alive!” You can be sure today’s most impactful visionaries are having this level of fun.

3. Are you having impact?
Are you constantly finding ways to surprise people and effect change (both personally and professionally)? Show your prospects what they didn't know they wanted yet.

4. Are you doing your version of it?

Injecting and stamping your work with your unique and singular personality is the best way to carve an irreplaceable niche.

5. Does it feel easy and loose?

In order to produce your best possible work, you should create a strong sense of flow in all areas of your work—from communication with your team to interacting with clients.

Using these laser sharp tools, and many others, I help my executive clients grow their businesses faster, and develop impactful confidence to take the necessary risks in their careers to set them apart from their competition. They learn to harness the power of their unique personalities to attract more clients by being the brightest light in every room. To be unforgettable. Ultimately, and perhaps most importantly, these people live happier and more fulfilling lives.

This article was originally published on Inc. 

The Top 3 Personality Traits of Wildly Successful People

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Throughout my work helping A-list actors, musicians, entrepreneurs, politicians, world leaders to launch their careers and effect maximum change in their audiences, I’ve witnessed many clients crash and burn as a result of self-destructive and self-sabotaging behavior. 

When people think of self-destructive behavior they quickly conjure up images of drug and alcohol abuse, gambling, poor financial decisions, etc. 

There are a few personality traits that can abruptly tank any success you’ve accumulated.

While there are dozens of success-breeding behaviors, below are the top three personality traits of wildly successful people. 

Self-Awareness

Having an expanded self-awareness means being mindful of the existence of others. Those clients who achieve soaring levels of success treat everyone with respect, and realize that there is a world that exists outside of their immediate problems, personal goals, and agendas.

Those who exhibit a lack of self-awareness typically have no regard for other collaborators and team members in the room -- they hold attitudes akin to: Subordinates are not talented professionals in their own right, but rather people who exist to elevate the executive.

These are people who do not truly love their work. One of the clearest and best example of this is the waiter who comes to the table with a forced smile to ask, “How is everything?!” when your mouth is full of food. It is a painfully obvious self-serving act in attempt to get a bigger tip and force a compliment. If the server had the most basic sense of self awareness, he/she could have handily seen that you were clearly enjoying your food and experience, or if there was an urgent need for assistance and intervention. Servers who posses this easily cultivable level of awareness and grace earn thousands of dollars more per year.

Additionally, the pathology of self-entitled and ignorant people can be quite toxic.

True Grit

In life, nothing that is for you will go by you. But that doesn't mean it will just fall into your lap. You have a right and responsibility to reach out and grab it using every tool at your disposal.

Anyone hoping to achieve any level of success must possess grit. You have to be pleasantly persistent in order to build and maintain game-changing relationships with industry movers-and-shakers. This means not being afraid to pick up the phone to pitch yourself and your ideas. Don’t walk around with your tail tucked between your legs. I help my clients walk into any nerve-racking situation by adopting an appropriate body attitude of unshakable confidence. People with grit stand out from the “American Idol” masses of their competition. Having tenacity and grit means knowing that major success is simply a direct result of creating your own opportunities. Those without courage wait around for breadcrumbs and handouts, and expect success to magically fall into their laps, or fall off of a truck. To develop true grit, increase your proactive efforts, hone your phone skills, and grow a thick skin.

The Giver

My top tip for acquiring sustainable success in any industry is to “give more than you take.” Realize that you are not entitled to anyone's time or help. It’s imperative to reciprocate favors and mirror support. 

At the end of the day, lasting and meaningful success in any industry is a direct result of your ability to develop a charismatic and giving personality while building and maintaining game-changing relationships. 

This article was originally published on Inc. 

 

This Habit Separates The Doers From The Dreamers

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Many books have been written and TED Talks given about the power of "asking."

What hasn't been made clear is how, and in what way, we're supposed to ask.

Some of the greatest business and entertainment achievers in the world--people like Steve Jobs, record producer Jimmy Iovine, etc.--have proven that the ability to use the phone effectively and persistently, is directly related to achieving massive growth and success in any field.

Steve Jobs famously describes getting his first big break in tech when he was twelve years old by simply picking up the phone and calling Bill Hewlett. He asked him if he had any spare parts for a frequency counter he was working on. Bill Hewlett not only gave Jobs the spare parts, but also gave him his first tech job working on a frequency counter assembly line.

In the entertainment industry, top producers, writers, directors, and reps who don't use the telephone to pitch their projects and clients rarely have an impact, or get big results for themselves or their clients.

No matter the industry, your success potential is directly related to how visible you make yourself, and your ability to build and maintain game changing relationships with industry movers and shakers.

Attempting to build important relationships via email is the equivalent of chewing gum and blowing a bubble in the hopes that when it pops, all of your greatest career dreams may come true.

The reality is that your email will most likely fall into a sea of thousands of other emails. You become the needle in the haystack.

Most modern technological innovations offer us tools to protect us from the perceived 'danger' of live verbal communication, and interacting with other people. Instead, much of our communication is now done behind a screen, from the 'safety' of our private space.

For many people, communicating via email is easy and can seem like the safer choice as opposed to person-to-person communication, because you don't have to worry about the threat of hearing an immediate "No." Ultimately, sending texts and emails are the safest and best options for those who are afraid of failure.

Unfortunately, this safety net rarely has the impact needed to take you to the next level.

Emails that are sent without an initial phone, or in-person connection, are dead in the water.

Proper use of the phone before sending an email allows you the exclusive right to use the badass subject line: "As per our conversation."

The bottom line is that emails are easy to ignore. The phone is one of the last remaining tools that can't be ignored. In fact, it's harder for someone to say "no" when speaking on the phone (or in-person).

Several of my clients describe that it actually "hurts their chest" to think about picking up the telephone to make pitches.

There certainly is a right way and a wrong way to directly pitch yourself via a telephone.

Phone pitches can be one of the scariest options, as many people feel like they don't have the right to use the phone.

I coach my clients to adopt a unique body attitude of ironclad confidence, within seconds, to empower them to pick up the telephone to build game-changing relationships with future partners, investors, and business leads.

One's confidence and ability to be "pleasantly persistent" in speaking up for yourself is directly related to your success in any industry.

Waiting around for anything to magically fall into your lap is a losing proposition.

Sometimes, in being proactive and essentially sticking your neck out for yourself, you might burn your hand. But if your career is worth it to you, you have to be willing to do this.

This article was originally posted on Inc

3 Easy Ways to Be Happy Today

Operating as an active business professional in the age of social media is a tremendous challenge. As much as the Internet has aided in the streamlining of information and business processes, it has also exponentially increased the amount and intensity of competition. This is undoubtedly a high stakes arena where the ability to properly prioritize can become skewed. As a result, I notice a greater number of professionals delaying their immediate happiness or fiscal responsibility with remarks like:

If I break six figures this year, I’ll start paying off my debts/saving for the future.
I’ll be happy once we reach 1 million customers.
When I’ve made the Fortune 500 list, I’ll know I’ve made it.

It’s important to have goals, but the problem with the above statements is that they defer happiness and good habits away from the now and off into the future. This is an example of how goals can obstruct one’s daily sense of satisfaction and ability to be present and grateful.

Keep ambition as your friend and not your enemy by putting it in check. There are so many outside forces beyond your control that you cannot hedge your happiness or self-esteem upon. Despite how fantastic your product is, or how flawless your value proposition, or your communication and pitching skills, you might still be outshined by someone who has more experience, better connections, or who plays golf with the boss.

Here is what you can actively do to keep your ambition in check:

Celebrate the imperfect success of today.
Don’t fall into the trap of bemoaning how unfair business is or pushing your happiness to some pie-in-the-sky day. Find pride in the life you are living right now, even if your business is still in the red. As an adult, happiness is finding gratitude in spite of how imperfect everything is.

Center yourself.
Ambition is crucial for success, but too much of it means that you become obsessed with the end result. Tenacity and grit allows you to focus moment by moment, so you maintain perspective. After all, once you get to the top of that mountain, the view unfolds before you with a vast valley of new mountains, which all need to be conquered. Refusing to be happy now in some ways means you’re refusing to be happy ever, as there will always be a new set of challenges, obstacles, and stresses to wrestle with in the future.

Take a break and enjoy the sunset (with or without a cocktail). Play with a pet or go on a walk in nature or an urban hike around your city center. Or do whatever truly makes you happy. Distancing yourself from your work for an hour in solitude can offer a wealth of perspective.

Exert control over what you actually have control over.
You have control over doing the best work that you are capable of.

I help my clients find the fun in every moment, and effect maximum change in their audiences to catapult their careers to a level of success beyond their wildest dreams. You also have control over whether or not you make fun, impactful choices in the course of your day, particularly ones that have a certain amount of calculated risk and potential danger.

Wherever you and your ambition aim to end up, be grateful for where you are at and what you have right now. The future doesn’t belong to any of us. All you have is this moment. 


This article was originally posted on Inc.

How to Use Your Personality To Achieve Unlimited Success

Your personality is nine-tenths of your success potential. For young entrepreneurs and professionals, however, it can sometimes feel as though one needs to imitate the characteristics of the already established masters in order to get anywhere. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking, I need to be as visionary as Jeff Bezos or I need to be as debonair as Richard Branson or I need to be as sphinxlike as Anna Wintour.

The reality is that these people were successful because they were brave enough to bring their personalities to their work. By harnessing their unique and singular selves and committing to their passions, they were able to create a force that was truly powerful. They didn’t create that force by trying to imitate others: rather, they embraced their own humanity and personal experiences to stand out. Many forget how the world embraces such authenticity, often finding it such a refreshing alternative to people desperately trying to be what they think others want.

Stop trying to guess what others are looking for. Assume you are who they’re looking for, and bring yourself to your work.

In order to fully bring yourself to your work, you need to harness a higher level of self-awareness.

Discover those exciting subtleties of your personality, the ones that when shared, someone could easily fall in love with. By doing so, you reflect your audience’s humanity back at them, and make a deeper and more permanent connection.

This is the difference between good and great, it’s that little bit extra. Something simple that someone can put in their pocket and take home with them, so they feel like they really know you. I call it leaving a “tip.” This “tip”—the little bit extra—is you.

I recently had the pleasure of coaching Dr. Joanne Liu throughout her campaign to ultimately win the International Presidency of Doctors Without Borders (MSF).

One of the strategies we deployed to effect maximum change in her debates, was to purposefully make the choice to show her audience who she was, all the time. This was accomplished through the tactical sharing of her personal stories with her patients while in the field.

She has been on the front lines of epidemics like the Ebola crisis in West Africa. Joanne was the first person in Doctors Without Borders history to be re-elected to a second term.

The good news is that you have everything it takes to be interesting and change effecting.

Many people feel they aren’t interesting enough to be leaders, so they hide behind what they think they should be.

Embrace the fun—and fear—of bringing all of yourself, with all of your perceived flaws and quirks, to every aspect of your work.

This is a skill that can be developed. I help my clients use the power of their personalities to develop charismatic confidence and effect maximum change in their audiences, oftentimes within minutes.

History is full of imperfect people who embraced the singularity of who they are, didn’t go to war with it, and used it to change the world and achieve mega-success.


This article was originally posted on Inc. 

The Game Changing Marketing Tool You’ve Never Heard Of

In five years, I took my business (an award-winning coaching studio) to the top of its industry. My studio helps Hollywood celebrities, world leaders, CEOs, politicians, executives, lawyers, and other industry leaders develop charismatic confidence to effect maximum change in their audiences, and achieve mega success. While I’m proud to say that it’s one of the most respected coaching studios in the industry, I have to admit that success didn't come easily. We worked for it. When my studio was young, I was working without a template and had to move forward no matter what, showing up every week to teach workshops and classes even when there was only one person.

Looking back, it definitely was a struggle, but I can easily pinpoint the three major pillars that helped to accelerate my success.

Frustration into Inspiration

I’ve always been inspired by the words of acclaimed Vogue editor, Diana Vreeland, “show others what they didn’t know they wanted yet.” When it came to developing my studio, my intention from the very beginning was to create a singular product in a niche market—something no one had ever seen before, and that no one else could reproduce. This was in part due to frustration. I was aware of how many useless coaching studios there were in Los Angeles that squandered the talent of so many promising actors, helping only to aid them in fostering bad habits, while extinguishing the love of the craft out of them. I knew that if I created an original product, I would never have to look over my shoulder at other competing businesses. For me, and for many successful entrepreneurs, the secret is creating something truly original, without modeling it off something that already exists. A great product is never static. It is constantly honed, updated, and developed to meet the demands of an ever changing world and market. Prizing this singularity as a cornerstone of your business, will see you through any change and help you weather any storm, as it will always give you that little extra competitive edge—it is often the difference between “good” and “great.”

Celebrity Endorsements

I had the instinct to get testimonials from clients before they became famous. These testimonials put a spotlight on my studio, even when it was brand new, because I had authentic words from famous actors endorsing my work. These endorsements were priceless. I can confidently assert that no branding, marketing, or value proposition can compete with a celebrity endorsement. I really believe that everyone is six degrees of separation (or less) from a celebrity connection. It would be beyond insane to not take the time to reach out to your network to reach that famous name, especially as there is zero risk involved. It may take repeated attempts to reach or hear back from them, but I truly believe it can launch your business to mega success.

Objective Marketing

I’ve found that in order to see off the charts business growth, you need to let go of what you think is awesome about your business, and take notice of what your clients may think is awesome about you do, and make it the DNA of your marketing. When I laser-focused my marketing towards what was really important to my customers, it triggered record growth almost instantly. I tweaked my value proposition, asserting it in terms that mattered most to my students: Every client leaves every session having experienced an undeniable breakthrough and transformation.

These three elements continue to grow my business, and often offer the highest guidance and clarity, even as my studio approaches its thirteen-year anniversary.


This article was originally posted on Inc.

The One Thing You Can Teach Your Kids Today To Set Them Up For Financial Success (and Happiness)

Confidence is the great equalizer: whether you come from an affluent background or staggering poverty, confidence can help you transcend any obstacle, mental or physical, and help you to actualize your wildest dreams.

I’m often surprised how many parents don’t nurture this powerful ability in their children on a consistent basis. I’ve coached children who are geniuses and prodigies but still haven’t been taught how to properly put confidence in their bodies, thus stifling their capacity to make the most of their considerable talents.

Teaching your child confidence helps them to adopt a mentality of “yes I can” versus “maybe I can”—and believe me, there’s a difference. With the adults I coach, it’s very obvious to me the ones who were nurtured with confidence from an early age.

The evidence is in their career choices, financial standing, and relationship decisions. Laying this foundation for your children regularly will benefit them in their adult lives, as it will acquaint them with taking risks, healthy relationships, exploring possibilities and ultimately realizing their full potential.

Not only is confidence the booster rocket to effecting major financial success, it can also set your kids up for a lifetime of genuine happiness, and spare them from unnecessary pain via misguided efforts and wasted energy. We help our clients develop impactful attractive confidence within seconds to effect maximum change in their audiences. And, to set them up for a life of financial success.

You can help your child build their levels of confidence daily.

Unconditional love

If confidence is the booster rocket to major financial success and happiness, then unconditional love is most certainly what fuels it. Giving your children the gift of confidence to last a lifetime is easy. Providing a sanctuary of love and support with which to grow it, takes constant focus, awareness and intention.

When you demonstrate to your child that they are loved unconditionally, it plants the notion in their mind that “everything is going to be okay” and cushions them with a net that indicates it’s okay to dream big, take risks and not be perfect.

The children that are surrounded in unconditional love grow up to be adults who start companies, invent award-winning products, and compete on the world stage.

A great and wonderful friend once said, “What is for you in life will not go by you.” This is possibly one of the truest things I’ve come to know. This does not mean that these incredible opportunities will just fall out of a clear blue sky and onto your lap. You must be in the right place to reach out and grab it!

An unshakeable body attitude of confidence empowers you to attain all that is for you in this world.

When you’re tuned to your Olympic level confidence—the highest level you can possibly achieve today—you cannot help but attract the finest of what is meant for you.

In this case, children aren’t suffocated by a sphere of timidity and uncertainty. They learn to attack the opportunities in life and forge the path they deserve while they are young.

This article was originally posted on Inc. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Want to Stand Out From Your Competition? Science Says Put This In Your Body

We can all count on one hand those teachers, mentors, etc. who had a lasting impact--whose words have forever changed the way we view the world and live in it.

These people wielded such a notable imprint as a result of two combined forces: their singular personality and their unmatched level of charismatic confidence.

For some, being memorable is easy and effortless. For others, this awesome result can be developed and honed, empowering you to effortlessly radiate the level of charisma that forges lasting impact. Oftentimes that marked difference between "good" and "great" is just that little bit extra.

Spontaneous Preparation

Have you ever seen a PowerPoint presentation so boring, you fought to stay awake through it?

This probably stemmed from it being over-planned, reductive, and uninspired.

Planning ahead before a job interview or presentation is obviously important, but over-planning to the point of it not being fun is a suicide move.

It's so problematic because it's so transparent: the talking points and related materials seem over-prepared and far too safe; it's ripped of all spontaneity and seems predictable.

This ends up deeply hurting the speaker as it's indicative of a lack of confidence. The speaker doesn't trust him/herself enough to not plan out every single syllable, so why should the audience bestow their valuable attention and time on him?

Preparation must always be counterbalanced with a certain sense of spontaneity and play--where you are improvising as much as you are planning.

As always, preparation should just be a diving-board from which you leap into a delivery that is surprising, fun and which doesn't have the stench of over-planning.

Confidence

What is confidence other than your belief in your own capability?

I won't lie, when it comes to your confidence in a particular field, this isn't something you can master overnight. I help my clients develop genuine impactful attractive confidence within seconds to effect maximum change in their audiences.

In an interview or presentation, you need to know deep down that you are the solution to the problem at hand, and the best person to communicate the message.

Without this, you'll always dance in the gray area of having your confidence look fake or as if you're trying too hard.

If you've ever had the pleasure of speaking with a truly remarkable CEO or world leader--one who has made an almost mythological reputation for themselves of visionary thinking and calculated risk taking--you'll see they radiate this unshakable belief in themselves.

Priming the Pump

If you go into a job interview or presentation with the thought, "gosh, I hope they like this" you might as well accept defeat and mediocrity right now.

Confidence is not built on notions like, "golly, I will try and please everyone."

You will need to walk into the room ignited with the attitude, "I'm the answer you're looking for."

While you can't build up a healthy level of confidence from none at all, you can prep yourself mentally and physically as a way of priming the confidence pump.

Confidence starts in your body and soon triggers mental and emotional confidence.

The opposite it also true. One of my clients likes to say to himself, "I am the goddamn solution" before every big meeting.

When the goal is to consistently stand out from your competition, this is of utmost importance.

The truth is that many of us aren't born with the indelible charisma and conviction of Branson, Jobs, or Wintour.

But, with laser-guided preparation deployed consistently and fearlessly, you can leave a lasting impression when it matters.


This article was originally posted on Inc.

Want to Achieve Mega Success? Today's Billionaires Recommend Doing This

So many of my Inc. readers work in fields which are unfathomably competitive, and become more so each day with the whir and click of digital technology.

Yet within this searing environment is the necessity to exercise a certain discretion of selectiveness.

Not every opportunity offered is one you should take. Not every open door is one you should walk through.

Any entrepreneur knows how challenging it can be to find investors. There are horror stories about business-owners struggling for years to secure the right financing

Such lore can make you feel like you have to say yes to any investor who's willing to cut a check.

You need to be picky enough to find investors who are willing to work with your growth model, support your leadership, and who aren't going to insist you make money immediately--and expect an immediate return if you can't provide one.

Jumping into such relationships too quickly can lower the bar for the level of results you are able to reap and stunt your long-term growth.

Brand partnerships can be an effective way to fast-track your growth in a short amount of time, though you should be extremely selective with who you partner with.

Their brand image and reputation need to echo or complement your own.

Pairing up with a fantastic like minded company can do wonders for you; conversely, pairing up with a brand that is riddled with issues might do damage that could take years to repair.

Likewise, being picky with your consumer base is also pivotal. Many business owners feel that turning away clients is unthinkable, especially if finances are strained or they are new to the industry.

Being highly selective about which clients you take on, and not being afraid to turn clients away, asserts you as a company of extreme value.

Weeding out employees and clients who frustrate--as they cause loads of unnecessary stress--only empowers you in the end, as it forces you to prize your precious time above all else.

This ultimately creates a stronger company, as this mental energy is now liberated to be focused on more productive and fun endeavors.

This is one of the main philosophies of billionaire Manoj Bhargava, CEO and creator of the "5-hour Energy" drink. Bhargava believes in eliminating anything or anyone that creates aggravation, as he says it is "the largest cost in business."

Last year, we decided to implement this strategy at our company.

We were finding that difficult--aggravating--clients were not only taking loads of extra time in the office to manage and coddle, they were also sucking up large amounts of our head space outside of work.

Implementing this created extra space for us to focus on working with a higher end client.

As much as I encourage risk-taking and overall daring in business and in life, being selective is a form of bravery as well. It takes courage to put your foot down and say "no."

This empowers you to select the best partners, employees, customers, and platforms, setting you up for long-term and sustainable success.

While some might be fearful of being selective--especially when getting your business off the ground--being exceptionally picky can often mean the difference between marginal success and mega success.


This article was originally posted on Inc. 

6 Signs Your Child Might Be a Genius

Many world religions, such as Hinduism and Buddhism, believe in reincarnation; in fact, that's precisely how they explain the existence of child prodigies.

Reincarnated or not, child prodigies have provided some of the most fun and memorable moments of my career, over the years. I have had the extreme honor of working with many of them.

However, I must point out that there is a marked difference between working with bright, precocious kids and working with child prodigies.

When I work with children who are talented, with above-average IQs, the experience is rich and deeply rewarding.

When I work with children of that caliber, I feel like I'm learning as much from them as they are from me--they make me a better coach.

Having helped many young kids launch major entertainment careers, these are some of the things I noticed right away--how I knew they were going to be rich, successful, and famous, without testing their IQs.

No. 1: Alarmingly sharp ability to communicate emotions

Most children are often unable to describe things with a certain richness because of their limited education and life experience.

Child prodigies speak with a vividness and an emotional clarity and maturity that is startling.

For example, to describe the enlightened state he felt after one of our sessions, a young client of mine, "Viggo," explained that he felt "lifted with helium and steadied with a stone."

He was 11 years old.

No. 2: Presence

The truly gifted kids that I have worked with have a disarming presence and awareness.

Many adults spend years trying to develop the commanding presence that these children radiate so effortlessly. It's mesmerizing.

No. 3: Sustained focus during conversation

Sustained focus during a conversation is something we expect from adults, though it can be disconcerting when children are able to exert that stamina and concentrate unwaveringly on a topic, without the restlessness or mental fatigue that ordinary children usually get.

These talented children show up to sessions and class more prepared than many of my adult clients.

No. 4: Abnormally sharp memory

Young geniuses are able to recall conversations, as well as things they've read or overheard, with astounding accuracy.

They are also an extremely quick study, and can memorize text exceedingly fast.

No. 5: Ease of rapport when interacting with adults

While regular children might find prolonged interactions with adults a bit overwhelming or intimidating, child prodigies are markedly at ease when engaging with adults.

They are able to communicate with a fluidity and eye contact that is rare for most children.

No. 6: Deep level of understanding

Because the accelerated child's mind is so advanced, they are able to intuit a range of situations without needing clear explanations, the way other children would.

They understand the unspoken language of behavior with a heightened sensitivity toward the people and feelings involved.

This often translates to a mature sense of humor and the ability to appreciate grownup jokes.

Raising a prodigy is a gift and privilege. As hard as it may be to not impose your wishes for the child's future, trust in his or her abilities and let the child guide you.

This article was originally posted on Inc.

Why You Must Abandon Your Business To Achieve Mega Success

I recently returned from a trip to Europe, a trip that I was both excited and somewhat anxious about, as it meant that I'd have to take a long break from my business.

I was surprised to find that this time off actually benefited me exponentially. I came back more creative, more energetic, and with a sharpened perspective.

Business is like being in the ocean, there's a reluctance to turn your back on it, for fear of what might happen.

But making any decision based on fear is never a good idea.

Think of your next vacation as an investment in your yourself and your business, as it offers these singular benefits:

Fresh Perspective:

Time away--just a little bit--provides a new perspective you can't get any other way. Solutions to challenges come more readily, almost effortlessly, and obstacles don't seem quite as foreboding.

Distance and time have a special way of clearing up confusions, and spotlighting the best choices.

A Pat on the Back:

Taking a timeout from work means that you'll have a chance to step back, look at your accomplishments and give yourself some credit.

While all the distance in the world will never make you feel like things are perfect with your career, the space a vacation provides can force you to say, hey things are moving in the right direction because of my hard work. Or, a wake-up call to shift gears altogether.

You have to acknowledge your successes on the competitive road ahead, otherwise you're destined to never truly be happy, as your mind will always be racing towards the next thing.

Don't fall into the trap of examining your career through the eyes of others.

Enrich Yourself:

Remember that daring adventure you always wanted to take? Remember how you've always wanted to watch that Netflix series?

Most of my clients have a host of enriching activities they'd love to try which would doubtlessly enhance their current work, but never do.

Fill your time up with these extracurricular interests, activities and hobbies that you've always wanted to undertake.

Get back to doing that exciting thing you've always really wanted to do, before you did what you felt you had to do.

Taking a vacation can drum up those old anxieties of how am I going to stay on top of things?

Quite simply, those are fear-based notions that don't serve you.

A vacation is a truly singular opportunity to renew your lease on fun, supercharge your productivity, and grow your business with a greater sense of peace and fulfillment.

 

This article was originally posted on Inc. 

4 Lessons to Learn From Workplace Bullies

As so many professionals know, often the higher you climb, the more toxic and abusive people you encounter as your network grows.

Before you're tempted to sink to the level of the next bully-in-a-business-suit you encounter, allow these points to give you a glimpse into their head and heart.

1. Never underestimate the pathology of the human ego.

Ego-driven people are all around us; in fact, you're one of them.

Your ego has played a healthy role in your desire to be successful and work hard.

The toxic people you encounter have an unhealthy, unbridled, uncontrolled amount of ego that is causing them to engage in the most trite and onerous forms of egotism while being completely obliviousness to the needs of others.

So many people at or near the top of the pyramid in business are egomaniacs, so be prepared: they have a tendency to make anything and everything about them--including your accomplishments.

2. Abuse is unacceptable.

I can't tell you how many times I've mentored young professionals who rationalize away a boss or superior who uses abuse-based tactics to get them to work harder, or who justify an abuse-based work environment.

These young people try to convince me that it helps them "toughen up" or "cut their teeth" or "adapt to the high stakes world" of industry X when their boss yells, mocks, or belittles them.

That is complete garbage. By excusing such abusive treatment, they are doing their part to enable it.

I coach many professionals who work in abusive and contemptuous environments--I help them to develop body attitudes of unshakeable confidence and grit to confront and neutralize any problematic situation with strength, grace, and ease.

By responding to bullying behavior with strength, the superior is going to know that their attempts to feel empowered or let off steam via such severe dysfunction, simply isn't going to work with you.

3. Yep, some people are jealous of you.

Yes, you. Many times the abusive boss or toxic colleagues see something in you that they know doesn't exist in themselves.

You have more friends, more optimism, more creativity. You handle stress better. People like you more.

Whatever it is about you that the toxic person does not possess, that sense of lack is often motivating their foul behavior towards you.

Jealousy (and with it personal misery) is often the biggest motivators of the worst behavior.

4. Fear wears many disguises.

Fear does not always manifest itself through anxiety or hysteria. Sometimes the smuggest person in the room is the most fearful.

In business, I find that often the most hostile person is the one most laden with fear.

These are the people who try to make you wrong, so they can be right. They exclude you, so they can feel like they matter. They belittle you so they can have a whiff of empowerment.

The temptation to jump into the ring with these toxic creatures will definitely lessen over time.

You don't want to fire back at these people because the kickback could knock you off your path and your focus.

The best way to fire back is to do so with your work, your ingenuity and your accomplishments, as a seasoned professional.

A dear friend said the truest piece of advice: "Once the haters come out, you know you've made it."

 

This article was originally posted on Inc. 

What Steve Jobs Never Told Us About Being an 'A-Player'

Many of the brilliant minds that have etched their names into the indelible consciousness of history--such as Warren Buffett, Steve Jobs, Joanne Liu and Indra Nooyi--are often thought of as lone lighthouses of talent and intelligence. And rightly so.

Many of the people who make history often possess an independence and singularity of thought that helps them carve their path and get noticed faster.

However, what is often forgotten is that leaders who make it to the top of the pyramid do so because they are working with other fiercely talented, driven and capable people.

The experienced teams that support these people--those who add to their creativity, help refine their ideas, offer different perspectives of problem solving--enable these brilliant people to reach the full potential of their brilliance, and essentially make history.

The key ingredient when you approach any life task, business venture, or client meeting is to do so with a willingness to collaborate with those around you.

Steve Jobs and his 'A players'

Many successful and powerful people don't employ this tactic with any regularity and that's largely because teams often don't make history--their leaders do.

Outside of sports, our society doesn't really celebrate teamwork the way it should.

Steve Jobs gets all the credit and the programmers and designers who worked under him and refined and developed his ideas--his "A players"--get to die in obscurity.

In order to allow the bulk of your potential to truly develop and flourish, adopt the viewpoint that we're all in the same boat.

Everyone in your boat has a variety of strengths and weaknesses that can be properly harnessed to meet the loftiest of common goals.

Really brilliant people are willing to inspire others to work harder or risk more daringly in order to meet such collective objectives.

In conjunction with a willingness to collaborate needs to be an acceptance of who you are, and the discipline to stop guessing what others are looking for.

Rather, assume that you are what and who they're looking for, while bringing something useful to the table.

You are not perfect, you don't have all the answers, and you will make mistakes--but you have a singularity that cannot be duplicated. It's what makes you an original.

Thus, your viewpoints, your experience, your charms all contribute to the solution. It's your job to determine how to harness them in the most applicable and beneficial manner.

Your team can help you grow

Once you embrace this mindset, your own inner level of confidence and charisma should organically rise and that's important.

Given any professional situation or challenge, you need to believe that you--with all your flaws alive and well--are the solution.

The situation might be bleak, scandalous, intricate and take years to solve, but with this attitude you know you are capable.

Maybe not after the first try or even the second, but with a mind committed to collaboration and a refusal to guess what others want, along with a commitment to your individuality--nothing can stop you.

 

This article was originally posted in Inc.